it's not that we're scared
by imperfectandchaotic
Summary: [5th in the SDYG series] Post 3.16 - Caroline has yet to figure out what exactly allows him past her carefully constructed shields with so little resistance. Why is the truth so easy with him?"


**it's not that we're scared (it's just that it's delicate)**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own The Vampire Diaries

**Note:** Because this was a change I was not expecting. Damn it.

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><p><em>It was Alaric.<em>

Has her heart stopped? Oh wait, of course it has.

"Caroline? Did you hear me? It was Alaric. Alaric killed all those people. They released Meredith Fell. Something's really wrong with him…"

Elena stops talking as soon as she realizes Caroline is already miles away, already on her feet, already leaving the Grill. She brushes right past Klaus, who steps aside to let her pass without a word. His eyes slide from her disappearing form to the Doppelgänger, whose mouth falls open at the sight of him.

Klaus turns around and follows the scent of lavender.

**x**

She's running now, only really noticing because she's started to use her speed and feels that familiar tug in her gut from whenever Caroline lets the vampire be free of the girl. She runs, runs hard, everything blurred so by the time she stops, out of breath, she's lost in a deep part of the woods.

_It was Alaric._

Caroline hears a strange, humming static in her ears. It feels like something is prickling and crawling beneath her skin.

_It was Alaric._

She strikes at the closest tree, finds her hand full of splinters and bleeding, but the feeling doesn't fade. Caroline can feel an awful desperation clawing at her throat as she rips a branch clean off and hurtles it into a poor defenseless sapling.

It takes at least half a dozen slaughtered trees before Caroline feels once again partly contained within herself. She winces as she pulls out most of the embedded slivers in her hands and arms; her skin heals and she is left only with red streaked reminders.

A twig snaps.

Caroline doesn't wait around this time. Debris from her woodland carnage is everywhere; she's never been so glad for her sharpened senses as when she lets fly three splintered branches in quick succession.

They hit...something that's not soft earth. And then:

"Ow."

When Caroline whirls around to find Klaus' back, a long piece of familiar bark protruding from his shoulder, she almost breaks down in peals of hysteric laughter. She hit Klaus. Somehow it doesn't feel quite real. Her hands fly to her mouth, surprised to find that she is actually suppressing giggles.

"Oh my god."

**x**

"I'm glad you find this amusing," he says. Caroline watches Klaus turn to face her, that same surprise clinging to his expression as he falls back onto the ground with a solid thump. "Your aim is impeccable."

She is honestly unable to believe she actually hit him.

"I…" She chokes back still more laughter, her feet carrying her closer before her mind can contemplate the reasoning. "I'm sorry."

His eyes widen as Caroline realizes exactly what she's just said. For a moment they just look at each other, but it's a moment too long, because she can feel his gaze probing hers, as though Klaus is reaching in and touching her mind with his. She clears her throat and glances away.

The Original leans back on his palms, wincing. Caroline finds herself faced with the realization that Klaus actually feels pain, and her strange, inherent idea that he's impermeable, untouchable, is very much wrong. So much of her world is turning on its axis today, it seems.

"Were you walking backwards or something?"

"Just leaving, actually." Klaus reaches with his right hand but grimaces when he's unable to reach the offending branch. "You looked like you could use a moment alone."

Caroline flushes, something squirming in her gut at being caught so vulnerable. The feeling is followed quickly by that sharp pang of gratitude; she's touched and struck once again at his intense underlying kindness.

The least she can do is return the favour, right?

"Do you…" _Come on_. "Do you need some help with that?"

Klaus' head tilts, looking baffled, and Caroline flushes again. "I mean, it's totally my fault… I uh, I stabbed you."

A smile drifts over his lips. "You're very kind."

She considers her last encounter with those words. Something in her chest twinges. "We'll see how much you like me when I have to pull that out of you."

He chuckles so softly that Caroline barely hears it over the breeze. She settles behind him on her knees.

"Ready?"

Klaus grunts, which she takes as an affirmation. Caroline has one hand against his other shoulder and one hand around the branch when he says, "It's alright, you know."

She's so surprised she forgets to pull.

"What?"

"Alaric." There is an edge to his voice that makes her shiver. "He killed your father." Having it said out loud just makes that prickling from before flare again. "It's alright to be upset."

Klaus isn't even looking at her; she supposes the angle would be too awkward. Caroline sets her jaw. "It's not that simple."

"Isn't it?"

"You wouldn't understand," she says stiffly, feelings strangely like a petulant, stubborn child.

He does turn then, nearly causing the branch to take out her eye, looking over his shoulder at her. The challenge is clear. "Try me."

Caroline just grabs the branch and tugs, hard, instead of replying.

**x**

His reaction is a lot more animal than human; before she can even cry out Caroline is flat on her back, dazed and breathless. Klaus is boring down on her, his eyes wide and dark and feral. Fear shoots up her spine. She feels paralyzed with it. Caroline watches the light of the sun catch in his gaze; it's like watching a fire light.

"Can't say I was prepared for that," he growls, low in his throat. She can't tell if he's angry or just surprised.

"That was sort of the point," she replies, still gasping a little. At least he's not strangling her this time. His weight pins hers to the forest floor. Caroline is pulled forcibly back to her first werewolf encounter with Mason Lockwood. The residual panic must show on her face, because Klaus frowns.

He leans backwards off her and she can breathe again. They're both silent for a beat, sitting together among spindling trees. Then Klaus catches Caroline's eye, a smile breaking across his face, and the fire sparks hot and follows.

Though they're not inches apart anymore, she still feels in danger of burning.

"It was Alaric," she whispers, even though she's not sure of the reason. "I can't—I can't just…"

Caroline trails off. Klaus is just looking at her with that familiar patient expression. He's not quite smiling anymore. She swallows. Caroline has yet to figure out what exactly allows him past her carefully constructed shields with so little resistance. Why is the truth so easy with him?

"I couldn't do that to Elena."

Klaus opens his mouth, the objection he's about to make evident. "You think—"

"Do you know how many people Elena's lost?" She almost doesn't say the rest, "Thanks to you?"

His mouth snaps shut. Caroline can almost hear his teeth clicking together. She is treading in dangerous water, but forces her head above water anyway. "I mean, her parents weren't because of you, but Isobel? John?" Has Klaus any idea, she wonders, the scale of his own destruction?

"Jenna. Jeremy." The Original's stare is cold, unforgiving. Caroline soldiers on, her heart heavy. "Stefan."

Klaus looks as though he could tear the organ from her chest and leave it for the birds without a single second thought.

"Elena can't be in a car going more than like, fifteen miles an hour before it looks like she's going to be sick. Did you know that? It terrifies her. It wasn't even like this after her parents accident on the bridge. Alaric called me once because she woke up _screaming_ and he couldn't calm her down."

She's glaring now, danger be damned. "And don't tell me that was her Stefan, because that was this evil psycho Ripper Stefan that died a long time ago. _You_ brought him back. Don't give me all that true nature crap, okay?"

He sits up, begins to close the meager distance between them, but Caroline will not back down.

"Bonnie won't speak to her. Damon...well, they're pushing each other away right now but he'll never leave. Not by choice, anyway."

Klaus' interest apparently outweighs his anger; he tilts his head, looking intrigued. For whatever reason, every time he does, she is reminded of an over eager puppy. "You seem very sure of yourself."

_Have you seen him around her?_ Caroline wants ask. Instead, she purses her lips and attempts to organize the cabinet drawer in her mind labeled for the disaster that is Damon and Elena. A bird soars overhead, dragging her eyes skyward. She wonders what's coming now; what irrevocable change is this bird going to bring?

"Damon...it's like Elena's his gravity, or something. Like she's the only thing that keeps him tethered to whatever humanity is left in him. Alaric is his _best friend_. How many friends do you suppose Damon Salvatore has? Alaric is pretty much the only normal person Elena has left in her life, and now…"

And now. Caroline redirects her gaze back to Klaus, only to find him _right there_. She nearly leaps away in surprise. Air feels trapped in her throat, stuck along with ideas she can't even fathom into real words. He's doing that _thing_ with his eyes, asking questions she will never be able to answer, finding words she will never be able to say.

"What about you?" he asks. "You seem to have forgotten Elena almost lost you, once."

"I haven't forgotten." Fear, anger, and confusion spasm in equal parts in her chest. "I'll never forget."

For what may be the first time since the night of the ball, Klaus actually looks somewhat pained. A vindictive part of Caroline is glad for it. The rest of her is trying to understand exactly what has changed, in the air, in the sun, in the breeze. In his eyes.

"I told you," he says quietly. "I think you underestimate your worth." Klaus' eyes touch hers and it's practically an embrace in itself. "You undervalue yourself, so you think others do as well."

Stillness. Even the voice inside her head that usually clamours for anger and escape is silent. Suddenly Caroline realizes: Klaus. Everything is heavy with him, his warmth, his scent, his fingers reaching and just brushing the underside of her jaw; he carries flame in his skin. The sensation is so sharp it is almost painful.

But Caroline doesn't move.

And she doesn't understand why.

**x**

There are tears in her eyes, _why is she crying?_ Caroline tries to hold Klaus' gaze because she is not weak, damn it, but ultimately she fails. She closes her eyes. Because Caroline could not hold on, not to Tyler, not to her father, not to the girl who used to play in that clearing and pretend she was anything but a little girl who couldn't fly.

She cannot fathom the reason Klaus is here, sitting just a breath away and catching her tears in his hand. Caroline truly cannot make sense of him, no matter how she tries. Nor can she grasp this feeling he stirs in her, the one that fills her up and pulls, hot and tight in a war with her logic and sense, as though trying to separate itself from the rest of her being.

There is a soft pressure against her forehead, unmistakable because of what follows from that exact spot.

_"Caroline."_

And there it is. Change.

The sparks on her skin flicker and die. Klaus is pulling away.

Caroline cannot hold onto the person she is supposed to be; she is not strong, she is not cheerful, she is not okay. So it's a different girl, perhaps that little girl who couldn't quite vanquish the monsters all on her own, who grabs blindly for the very one who still haunts her so.

The front of Klaus' shirt is soft in her first. She's shaking.

His fingers fold over hers. Klaus' other hand cups the back of her neck; their foreheads meet in another phantom kiss. Caroline realizes the expanse of space still between them, her bizarre gratitude for that remaining distance, and tries not to dwell on the possibilities of meaning.

Klaus does not tell her not to cry. He doesn't tell her it's going to be alright, no matter how badly the little girl in her wants him to.

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>: So does this qualify as AU yet? It's like one thirty in the morning and I just really wanted to post this, so I'll give it a once over in the morning. Is it bad that I have head canon and about my own series? Thoughts are loved and appreciated!

Annie


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